What Do I Need To File For Divorce In California – Planning for a divorce often means that things have gone beyond the point of no return—and that comes with feelings of sadness, defeat and perhaps betrayal.
However, this is not the case. If a divorce is imminent, preparing in advance is a smart thing to do.
What Do I Need To File For Divorce In California
Most people don’t want others to look at them as fake or fake, so there may be a natural tendency to simply avoid the topic.
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There are many good reasons to prepare and think about yourself before a divorce. For example, have you experienced domestic violence during your marriage? If so, what do you need to do to ensure your safety?
You should consider all options before filing for divorce and know that your circumstances are important to keep you physically, mentally and financially healthy during the process.
Getting ahead of the game and preparing for a divorce before filing is one of the best things you can do.
There are many articles and sites that provide information about divorce, but most people don’t want others to view them as gimmicky or private, so there may be a natural tendency to simply avoid the topic.
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But making the right move is making the smart move. Prepare ahead of time to avoid unexpected pitfalls.
Shane was born in south Texas and understands that people prepare for hurricane season every year, even though we can’t predict when, we know a hurricane will come eventually.
If you’re going to an important job interview, wouldn’t you prepare your resume and hone your interview skills as much as possible? Yes, would you?
What about planning to buy your first home? Haven’t you studied your finances, talked to a realtor and a mortgage specialist to find out which home is right for your family? Yes, you would.
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Planning for a divorce is very important because making a mistake would not only affect your future, but also the future of your children.
There is no way to take the emotions out of the divorce decision. But you can’t let emotions drive your decisions or shape your reality.
For example, let’s say a husband has been having an affair with a co-worker. Of course, you will be overwhelmed by the news.
He wants your pound of flesh and will make sure he never sees you or the kids again. That’s emotion—not reality.
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Most likely, the Courts will issue orders so that both parents have more time with the children. Remember, the courts concern is for the child’s best interests, not seeking revenge on your behalf.
Another example, if you were the breadwinner for the past 20 years. Maybe your wife has never worked outside the home and you are the only one who contributed to the 401K plan through your employer.
After the divorce, you want to keep what is yours and can take care of yourself. You believe you should get a house, property and the rest of YOUR 401k plan.
The court divides the marital estate by fair and equitable distribution, meaning that your wife is entitled to 50 percent of the estate, even though she was never employed.
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Obtaining documents such as tax returns, W-2 statements, bank and credit card statements and mortgage information is essential in any divorce case.
However, there are other documents that need to be in order before filing for divorce, such as day care expenses, car notes and utility bills.
All of these documents can be used at hearings for temporary orders so that the court can decide who pays what debts to keep the status quo.
Having this information in advance will give you a better understanding of the situation during the divorce.
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Divorce proceedings, especially if they involve children or large amounts of community property can take months or even years to complete.
And what happens when the divorce is over? Will you have child support to rely on? If so, how much? Can you afford to stay in the home, or will you need to sell? How will you support yourself?
These are all questions you need to ask before filing for divorce. Understand that your lifestyle will change.
But how much impact it has on you is determined by how you plan for your financial future.
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When your future (and possibly your children’s) is at stake, you should have the best representation possible. Can you go to a dermatologist for advice on a heart problem? Of course not.
So why not hire a family friendly attorney who specializes in labor and employment law?
Make sure you consult with your attorney and ask them questions that are specific to your case. Additionally, ask the attorney how he or she uses trial, settlement, and trial strategies. Ask how many cases they usually keep on the books.
If you are even thinking about divorce you already know the stress and anxiety that comes with it. It is very important that you take good care of yourself physically and emotionally. It is always recommended that you see a counselor or therapist before filing for divorce so that you can develop strategies to deal with this unfortunate event.
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Do not argue or discuss the divorce in front of them. No matter how big they are. Talk to teachers and school counselors and let them know what’s going on, so they can watch for any signs of stress or anxiety in children.
As they say, “this too shall pass” Make sure you are physically and mentally fit to handle the process.
Divorce is never easy, but being organized and making a plan will make it less stressful. Prepare yourself before filing for divorce.
Shane is an experienced and aggressive family law attorney committed to helping clients face the most difficult challenges ahead. Make no mistake: Divorce is heartbreaking. It is a kind of death—the death of a dream, a marriage, your plans. The picture you had of your life ends up in ashes. And to make matters worse, you are left to clean up a legal, emotional, spiritual and financial mess.
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Heavy. If you commit to small daily changes—small successes—and connect with others in vulnerable relationships, you will come out stronger. I’ve put together this divorce checklist to help you take care of yourself, your finances, and your future.
Let’s be clear: I hate having to write this article. I rarely, if ever, encourage divorce. In almost every case, I want people to save their marriage—to work hard and rebuild a stronger, better, more lasting marriage.
But if you’re facing the harsh reality of divorce, this checklist will walk you through the steps to prepare for a divorce. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and let’s get started.
Divorce feels lonely and cold. Some days you just want to crawl into bed and not get out. Sometimes it’s good to withdraw and feel the dark sadness. But it cannot be your primary coping strategy.
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You need to take care of yourself (more on that soon). For now, here’s the most important thing I’ll say: You can’t do this alone. You need other people. Not your children and not just your parents. You need a gang. Nation. A car full of friends at 2 am ride or die. These people should have good boundaries, strong skin and your best interests in mind.
Do two things when choosing your support team. First, choose people who can support you in different areas—because divorce affects every square inch of your life.
Second, let each person help in appropriate ways. Your lawyer is not your therapist. Your therapist is not your friend. Your friend is not your lawyer (unless he really is). Instead of unfairly expecting people to do things they can’t do, stick to the knowledge they can provide in their specific areas.
Sometimes, talking to a trusted family member or friend is good in times of need. But I always recommend meeting with a professional counselor or minister. Especially if you are dealing with serious abuse – such as domestic or drug abuse, or childhood trauma caused by divorce. You may need a single session, or you may need deep healing. Either way, let your friends be your friends and lean on the pros to do the heavy lifting.
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During a breakup, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode and produces tons of adrenaline and cortisol. Keeping those stress chemicals in your system for too long is not healthy. So take care of your body, and pay attention to your needs even when you don’t feel like it. Hit the gym with a friend. Go for a walk with a friend from work during lunch. Eat well. Get a full night’s sleep. Choose less caffeine, less alcohol, less Netflix and less loneliness.
Of maturity, many people need a divorce lawyer. A skilled lawyer will help you understand your rights, obligations and all legal terms so that you can make an informed choice about your future. Just make sure your attorney has the heart of a teacher, not the heart of a nuclear disarmament expert.
Hear me on this: You will not succeed if you use your lawyer as a weapon
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